Friday, January 21, 2011


Since its been quite sometime since I wrote, I am thinking of giving a whole new look to my blog, firstly the title is changed :-) making it a bit more sensible. Then I am thinking of refining the way I write stuff, so that it makes sense to me when I read it a few months down the lane.
Just reflecting on one of the old questions- 'What is it that makes apparently possible something thats inherently impossible?" And the answer was - 'Maya' as told in one of the books. Now I dont know what that means, but atleast what I feel is that, we are all limited by our own minds. The world we see is the world existing in our minds and there is no doubt that each one lives in his own world. Instead of abstract thoughts, I am thinking of writing down my own experiences in this blog, for a change. I am just writing my thoughts down as they come..

When I was doing my 12th standard, I had no idea whatsoever on what to do next. I never thought about it, in fact, I didnt know it was high time to think about it. One fine day I realised that the exams are coming and it is really important to do well since it will decide almost my life! And I was very poor in Physics, I could never understand this subject. But since I realised it was important to do well, I had no option but to study and put in more effort to study this subject. I painfully put in so much effort that in a few days it became my favorite subject! As I read the last chapters- it was on 'Semiconductor Physics'. I read this chapter only once and understood it so well that I fell in love with it.. At that very moment, I realised that the subject was called- Electronics, and I came to know that there is a field called 'Electronics engineering'. I ran to look at the different colleges that offered this subject and called up the entrance exam cell to find out what were the kinds of ranks I was supposed to get in order to secure a seat for B.E Electronics in Bangalore.. And and I decided that I am going to study electronics engineering. One day I saw students walk by my house with PESIT written on their shirts (that was the name of the engineering college near my house) and I went to the college to check it out... I got passionate about it (dont know for what reason) and I decided I had to get in there!! So, all the activities in my life were decided by such kinds of instantaneous actions and decisions..

And today when I look back, I am surprised that I was so ignorant in the 12th std that I had no idea what engineering was. I dont know if I was living in a different world altogether. At different instances of my life, I think I have been in different kinds of worlds :-) But reading that one chapter decided the whole course of my life.. my mind was completely tuned to that pattern called 'electronics' that I never for a moment thought about a profession without it. Such a small incident making such a huge impact.. really amazing!! And when I think of it, the world of electronics is so huge and the world other than electronics is infinitely more huge.. and what do we know in this world, what can we ever know amongst what there is.. forget about knowing that which is beyond, you cant even know and learn completely- a part of what you are passionate about..At every point, I got inspired by something and that inspiration just took me away along with it, everywhere- whether it is education or work or whatever. In my engineering, I suddenly got passionate of working for Infosys that I thought I would work only there.. and when I got hired by Infy during the final year, I thought my life's goal was fulfilled!! (how foolish).. and then a few weeks later I realised I was being stupid, why the hell did I have to study electronics to get hired by Infy? My passion died there. One thought for the passion to kick in, and just one thought to let it die..

When I was doing my B.E project, I got inspired looking at the 'Intel' logo :-), yes seriously..I asked my friend if Intel has an office in Bangalore (I was in final year engineering and I didnt even know Intel existed in Bangalore, again being ignorant).. and I got mad about it.. that I had to get in there somehow. Again, I felt my life's goal was fulfilled (again foolish!!) and also one fine day left it somehow realising I was being stupid :-) One thought for the passion to kick in, but of course for me, it took sometime to get out of it in this case!

At every point of time, there was a new world that got created by those passions and I lived in those worlds created by myself; those passions got so much hyped up by myself that there was really nothing in them to hype them up so much. I guess we all go through these kinds of situations.
Once we are in any experience, we again get into a different world, only to realise later (perhaps), that it was just one of those experiences we created for ourself and there was probably nothing originally or inherently so fascinating about it..If at all there was any fascination, it was a product of our own imagination.. ( I have edited some contents of this para after I was being misinterpreted for no obvious reasons!)

This is probably a long explanation of what I began with- 'that which makes apparently possible, something thats inherently impossible' ; god knows how many experiences we have gone through and how many there are waiting ..
'kaalah kreedathi gachhathi aayuh' (I dont know what are the english words that come close in meaning to this, but I will try- "Time plays with us, carrying away with it, our life span..") 


Anonymous said...

hmm really refined writing,i can say a flawless post about your professional life.its good when people become better and better with time.

i can comment on few things if it can help you in future.

every individual has personal front and professional , sometimes people are confused to know their strength on either front.its just like you realised what your strength is in professional life.

when it comes to valentine and personal life.everyone has past and this past depends on one's ethical and moral life ,question is... do ya have acceptance to one's past to have a happy forever relationship.

(god knows how many experiences we have gone through and how many there are waiting ..?)
(we take in every breath, we should realise our life span is getting reduced by that amount..(no philosophy again, pure fact) Is there a way out?)

yes,there is a way out to defy lifespan mentally,not physically.ok let me write the concept of god and temple.

centuries back there was no religion and gods,only civilisation civilisation humans had flawless wisdom that can solve any issue.with time and centuries gone by,people felt what if human mind goes corrupt,so they found a solution to preserve human state of mind which is flawless with absolute wisdom.the best way to preserve human state of mind for future generations is to give human state of mind a physical form.they built a structure whose parameters are close to nature that makes everyone feel the original human nature.the structure they built was nothing but a temple the first original human state of mind in physical form for future generations.humans were gifted wisdom equal to that of god so that we dont go for his civilisation people believed the reason for absolute wisdom and flawless mind is unknown entity called god.though god is unncessary in human life,they placed a shapeless stone in temple believing god is the reason for their absolute wisdom and flawless mind.

as human minds went corrupt ,people distorted concept of god,temple and the original human state of mind which resulted in creating religions,gods with different names,idols,scriptures,huge temples just to build their selfish glory.the confusion and unanswered questions in today's society is due to distorted state of mind and theories.

why do people feel peace when they visit temple,cuz its first human state of mind which people currently dont question is ,did ya inherit civilisation or religion.religion came into existence only after civilisation went corrupt.

the reason i wrote about civilisation is to bring clarity in every aspect of life and to find answers with ease.

life span is an issue when you don't have clarity or when you are not sure about urself.if you have clarity in both professional and personal life,then you can see only happiness and time,age factors dont exist mentally.

i am a 20yr old medical student from hyderabad ,i used to visit temple with my parents but i never felt god or temple.i started thinking what could be the reason,in process i often used to get a dream where i am running and having conversation with sky high god and i am few inches shorter than god.i used to run faster in dream to catch up with pace of god while having conversation.when i woke up i never used to remember the conversation that i had with took me months to analyse dream.its not actually god in physical form but my thoughts that run parallel to god.i came to conculsion that there are no pre-existing gods what we find in contemporary society.the above concept of civilisation,god and temple are from analysis of my dream.

i never wrote this concept on web cuz i know people dont i felt like writing so i wrote.hehehe don't get bored with my concept if you don't like.i am just a kid ,i like being kid though am 20.

Avid Reader said...

That was one of the very interesting blog entries I read in the recent past.(By the way, I do read a lot). But after reading this, a question arises - whether such thoughts be hushed up as more of negativism hampering our day-to-day activities or are they truly the glimpses of disillusionments leading to a better state of mind as you claim ?

It is natural to have such fascinations before you start something and have a feeling of 'Oh ! it was nothing great ' once you accomplish that. Isn't it ? But we can't or rather shouldn't stop doing things just because we may feel disenchanted at the end.

Each of our action is driven by the force 'Icchha shakti'. We want to do something and we continue with that. It is only through this force that the world around us runs every day. Every creature has this and scriptures(e.g Bhagavad Gita) say that even this entire universe is the result of this 'Icchha shakti' of the Lord.

I liked your thoughts very much for they seemed to be honest, guileless and deeply introspective. However, I feel there is no point in contemplating such thoughts. At the end of life, one may feel that whole life was fruitless. Yet, one can't stop living fearing such feelings. Instead, it is wise not to encourage such weak thoughts. (as advised in Bhagavadgita, Chapter 2)

It was again pure fact and no philosophy. In fact there is no difference between pure fact and pure philosophy.

Anonymous said...

@ avid reader:check for rohan's in the below link.

for people who are into books and scriptures.