Marriage!

Well, I never thought I would be writing about it one day. But today was a different experience! Something I never imagined before. I never became a huge fan of a person just by hearing at his speech, and that too listening to a few minutes, I wanted to go and tell him, 'you are awesome'! And what's more, I recorded his speech (not sure if it was legal) and I am quoting him here in my blog.

If you have been wondering what I am talking about.. here it is.. I attended a wedding in a church today, for the first time in my life. Initially, I was comparing the differences between the cultures. I saw people with pianos, people getting ready to play songs, people with guitar on the stage etc., I had imagined the bride walking down in white dress and all (like we have seen in the movies), and then I thought, I shouldnt expect too much.. just wait and watch..Then the bride really walked down in white saree with a guy, whom I thought was supposed to be her husband. But then it turned out that he was the Pastor (a clergyman or priest in charge of a congregation- Source: dictionary.com), and a good friend of the actual bridegroom.

Then began the sensational talk by the Pastor. I didnt know who he was; I just thought he was the groom's friend.. but later learnt he was 'professional' and the Pastor. I probably felt it was sensational, because I didnt expect that kind of an event to happen there and that kind of a topic being spoken on a wedding day!

Anyway, here it goes..
"If you would remember God everyday in your life, you would have a great marriage. When you are closer to God, we experience love, we experience peace so that we can give it to others..But theres something wrong with human race today, that there is one thing that sticks out- ' I'..We are all about 'me'. In marriage, most of the times, its about me, whats in it for me. Every problem is because I am selfish. But the Bible says, the love of God is not selfish. It is kind and forgiving. The love of God doesnt keep a record, it doesnt say, 'hold on, I remember what you did to me five years ago, you did this to me yesterday'.. the love of God says- 'Jesus paid for you on the cross and I dont remember anything' Because of being selfish, sin came in to the world and death came in to the world"

"Btw, friends, I dont know who you are today. You may be here tonight, but you are going to die one day. 100 years from now you are not gonna be here. What a horrible topic to talk on a wedding morning! Yeah, but that is the reality.  Every one of us are gonna die one day. We are going to grow older and older and I promise you, not one of us will be here, one hundred years from now..But you are gonna be somewhere. Your soul will be somewhere- either in heaven with God or in hell. The Bible is that clear about it. And the bad news is that we are all sinners. The Bible says that St.Paul said- all men are sinners, no man is perfect, none of us are without sin. All of us fall short of God's standard. We have all made mistakes in our lives. Not one of us is worthy, when we die, to stand before the gates of heaven and say that 'I am here, perfect, am a good man, I have never sinned'. Not one of us is able to say that. But the good news is this- the Gospel of Jesus is this-' that the God sent his son, Jesus Christ, the only one who is perfectly holy and sinless. Jesus on the cross took your sins on him. He was not dying as an accident. Jesus was dying so that you could be in heaven one day..If you accept him as your Lord, you will be saved.......
....Do you know where you will go when you die? Have you personally asked God to come in to your life? Have you asked, God, forgive my sins? If you have done that, you will be saved."

"The love that God wants through this marriage is supernatural love between you; that you may live your life, through the love of God. God has put love in man.. it goes beyond when you become old, when you have lost friends, when you have lost jobs and everything..Even when everything is gone, you can still say to each other-'I believe in you'.. Two imperfect people like all of us are, come together and plunge in love for God..This is a very sacred and holy moment. This is the time when Jesus is asking you-'Did you know you will have eternal life? If you believe in me, you will have everlasting life. Do you know where you will go when life will be over.' You might be saying-'who knows and who can know'. But the Bible says differently that those who believe in him, shall have everlasting life. Pray God to come into your lives as the holy spirit."

Many of those sentences were very touching for me.. two of them stand out:
1. "All of us fall short of God's standard."
2. "Not one of us is worthy, when we die, to stand before the gates of heaven and say that 'I am here, perfect, am a good man, I have never sinned'".. I got tears in my eyes as he was saying this..

I wanted to hear more and more.. As I heard him, I felt he was explaining the essence of marriage, as it is supposed to be. Maybe, we too have the mantras and chants etc., which convey much deeper meaning.. but nevertheless, this was a different experience.

And towards the end, I felt that their belief in God was much stronger than the belief I had. Then I thought I shouldn't have compared cultures initially.. since all religions talk about that same goal, just tuned to the different mindsets of people. 

Thank God

I woke up in the morning with my eyes blurred; because I had slept with my eyes covered with my hands. It took nearly 1 hour to be able to see normal. I began to think, how the world might look to me if my eyes were permanently blurred. I started getting scared. How the world might look, if I were blind? Do we care to thank, may be, God that we are able to see? I did, at that moment. Even if I had no reason to thank God, this is really a wonderful reason.. to be able to see. The greatest gift, I thought!

We all know we can "see", not just the vision that eyes offer, but to be able to see things as they are. That is a very difficult thing though. It takes quite a few experiences to be able to really "see". When we start to see and realise things, we start to refine ourselves according to the circumstances. The first time you "see" something differently than what you expected to see, you are taken by surprise. Because, you had a certain previous experience and a certain expectation. So, when what follows doesnt match with your expectation, you are surprised! So, you now modify your 'interpretation' algorithm and set it to the latest experience you had. And then, your expectation changes accordingly. The next time you "see" the same thing, if you are taken by surprise, you modify your algorithm again. Anyway, as you go through these, you take a hit every time, but you also go through this wonderful act of realisation. You become a more refined person, because atleast you are starting to "see" things clearly. And when you get hit more, the stronger you get. But this process gets saturated somewhere.. that happens either when you get the "real" picture of the thing (after which you no longer need to run the algorithm) or when we you have become strong enough not to get affected by anything or when you no longer expect anything.

The root cause of all evil is this expectation. Expectation everywhere, about everything and with everyone. The moment this can be controlled, I can say, we will be able to handle ourselves much better and really see things as they are, and... as... they... Always.... were. Yes, things hardly change, but our 'idea' of the thing changes. When the illusion about the idea vanishes, the thing is seen clearly, as it ALWAYS WAS.

I wanted to thank someone for having brought me out strong from all the experiences that I have had in life so far, howsoever tough they have been. 'Thank God'.. thats what naturally comes out when we feel thankful for something that has happened, which is beyond our control. So, I thank God. I thank God, for making me realise how stupid I was in the past, for making me realise how much better I could have been, for how events happened which were not under my control (there are many such, in all our lives), for guiding me every moment and making me realise every moment on what I should and shouldn't do..

I sometimes think, if I could have 'seen' better yesterday, I could have been a lot better. But its always better late than never right? I can see better today, and for that, I thank God again..

Another first experience in..

I had an earlier blog post, about five years ago, whose title also read something similar, saying- 'my first experience in...'. But that was also 'the last experience in...'.

Now, this experience that I am writing about, I am pretty sure it is not the last experience, but surely the 'first' of its kind. I was supposed to teach Analog electronics to BTechs here in IITB as a Teaching Assistant for their course. Not really "teach" the subject as such, but then make them solve some examples- something they call a 'tutorial' here. I had some apprehensions about teaching UGs in IITB, they are pretty smart guys, I thought.. After all, they cracked the JEE, didn't they? So, to prepare myself, I sat along with them during their regular class hours for Analog electronics, to know what's going on in the class, so that I can know what I should be doing during the tutorial. It was a class of limited seats- only 40 students were allowed to register- hmm...decent crowd for me to start with, I thought! These guys didnt know what a high pass and a low pass filter were. And they were pretty decent in the class, so I thought it may not be tough for me to handle them!

Now coming to the tutorial day..When I entered the class, I made sure I wasnt going to stand on the dais of a different class, so I asked them if this was the same class. And I thought that students wont show up for a tutorial class, but almost the whole class was seated, at 6.30pm sharp! Wow, impressive! And the room didnt have speakers or mike, and I wasnt audible at the back benches, so I turned off the fan, because I believed that the noise made by the fan running at full speed was preventing my voice from reaching far! One girl gave me a staring look since I switched off the fan near her.. I knew, so I asked her- is it ok? And she had to say, yes, its ok! That girl didnt open her book to write down anything.. she wasnt happy attending a tutorial for this subject which was supposed to be a 'Minor' subject- which gave her only 6 credits instead of the 8 credits that they normally get. She didnt feel it was worth spending one extra hour a week on a 6-credit course. I said, I cant help it.. its been told that the tutorial was compulsory and she had a pathetic look on her face.. I dont know why it should be compulsory.. if she is not going to listen to me, what's the point in coming there for the heck of it? If I was the Prof, I would say so..

Anyway, I started with drawing simple RC circuits and transient response. These guys were 2nd year guys who didnt know Network analysis or Laplace transforms. So, I had to teach them simple RC circuit analysis. I also taught them what's inside an operational amplifier- thats a differential amplifier. Apparently, that wasn't what I was asked by the Prof to do. She was supposed to teach the concepts and I was supposed to show some applications and examples. But since they weren't aware of some concepts, I spoke about it, and I liked it..
After all, what's the big deal in solving examples? All text books have them, and these simple substitution of values into formula- am sure these IIT UGs are smart to figure them out themselves..
I realised I didnt like to just show examples.. I wanted to take command on the subject, on really 'teaching'..  I wanted to teach concepts.. good, isn't it? And did decently well in handling questions too!
And the best part was, as I expected from EE students (:-))- the students behaved really decent, of course we have some mutual respect, dont we?

There were some guys talking to each other and laughing occassionally, but I didnt want to interrupt the class and treat them like primary school children, saying the same old dialogue of - "Please share the joke with the class.." etc.. It would have been funny if I did that. I wanted to be really professional, like my guide here. I love being professional where it is required.
It was good.. people were writing down notes also and nodding their heads- atleast the first benchers! There were some who didnt open any book also.. but they were the back benchers as one would expect. I was glad I was teaching something that made sense to some atleast.

The funny part was when I took the attendance (which I was asked to take!), it was a real 'first' experience. The last time I probably took attendence was when I used to play this 'teacher' game at home when I was in 1st standard, wearing a saree and broken glasses, holding a stick as if scaring students (there were none really!) and writing stuff on blackboard at home.
Now, I was really taking attendance..Apparently, in a couple of cases, I read out the student's middle name, and they said-'That's my father's name, not my name!' That was funny!

I managed to talk for 50 minutes! And I wasnt nervous.. good! And my hands were full of chalk powder :-)

I had done some volunteering work in the past, and the class I had taught was 8th and 10th standards. That was all unofficial teaching though..
But now this teaching was 'official' and it will go on. Hehe, I am officially a 'teacher'.. sounds weird! I should wear some glasses from next time, it will give me that teacher 'look', yeah that 'look'!

Overall it was good. My next turn is after 3 weeks. And I hope to do better!
(I like to decorate my blog with images.. :-) Otherwise, I think it looks boring. I myself cant read my blogs without pictures, these days!)