The beautiful islands of Madeira - a travel blog

Well, you must see it to believe it. Initially, I thought, an island must be really having nothing but sea on one side and beaches.. What else can it have?

The city is literally carved out of the mountains. Its quite easy to catch a look at these houses on the mountains.. they have the typical orange brick top, that is, they are thatched roof-houses. I was wondering how did these houses get on top of these slopes.. only to realise that, whoever built the city, have literally carved roads on these mountains. 

Something very common to every house is the huge balconies, the typical thatched roofs, a ventilator- the dark green one (almost 99% of the houses have this and only this kind of ventilator). The apartments have huge balconies and are extremely well ventilated, that is, they have sliding doors and windows along the length of the wall.. Almost 99% of the apartments you can see around in this place have this feature.
And the blue ocean will follow you everywhere..

And my goodness.. on the mountains, along with the houses, you can see banana plantations everywhere. No, in fact, there are banana plantations in a step-wise fashion on the mountains, and amidst these plantations, houses are situated. The houses are just flanked by these plantations.. and the size of these bananas is about 10 inches long!!

Its a picture-book city.. if you ever did a painting or planning for a movie depicting to set up a city, this is how it would be.. everything seems perfect, everything in the right place! There are tunnels carved into these mountains, and roads built for accessibility. And they have made the best of the place, by converting the entire island into a tourist spot. They have divided the island into different parts and the maps show different tours you could do. You can find a souvenir shop in almost every shop and every street.. which is quite remarkable.

Apart from the bananas, they grow grapes.. and from there comes their wine!! Vegetarian food- they do not know what that means.. so if you are a vegetarian, carry your food.. or survive on fruits, juice, dry salad and some yoghurt. Water is unheard of.. just kidding. They take more alcohol than water, so you have to pay for water!!

Take a moment off.. to know how fortunate you are

We all have problems in life, or atleast, we think so. What is a problem?
We are caught in the small petty jealousies, fights, hatreds, ego or superiority complexes and such things..

Somebody comments on my dress, I have a problem. I develop a complex to wear the same dress the same way next time.

Some remote "friend" says, "I dont need you anymore".. I get a serious heart-attack and think that, my world is full of misery. I think "What was my mistake? What have I ever done to deserve this?"

I do not respond to someone and the person says something rudely, I feel that no one cares for me. A friend does not wish me on my birthday and I feel that something terrible has happened in my life. My dad cares for me a lot that he is so so protective about me, even at this age. He still thinks I cannot cross the street on my own, and I have a problem with him! My friend says she will ping me back and doesn't, I have a problem with it. I started hating her, that she is so egoistic and I should not ping her anymore! I build jealousy within myself.

I do well in my job, and someone is jealous about it and wants to pull me down. I still have to pretend that I am a good friend of her, and I think that I am in a serious problem.

Wait a minute..

Think about this.

Someone is an orphan, she doesnt want to show it. She has accepted this fact and has moved on in life. SHE is the one who has nobody to care for her and she still lives strong. She does not think that she has a problem.

Someone has got a real heart-break. His love has married someone else! And this guy is still very good friends with both of them! THAT is strength. HE is the one who has real worries, misery and is still getting on with life. He has accepted it and has moved on. It is so difficult for me, to imagine this guys position. It is easy to imagine that he is in misery. But it is so difficult for me to imagine that he is still happily friendly with the other 2 people! Unimaginable strength. I say, WOW! I have seen people who start hating the two people, but to love them to the same extent, hats off, I say! 

Someone's husband has passed away. She has 3 kids and knows no one who can help her. She is uneducated. She has still found a job and is feeding those 3 kids. That is called, problem.

Just visit a cancer hospital. People will be lying on the road-side, in their final stages of life, unable to pay for their treatment. Probably, they are even begging people for money and we think that they are anyway not going to get cured, so why pay. Those are the people who have real problem.

There are people who cannot feed themselves for 2 times a day, who cannot afford to pay for their living, who beg on the streets.. those are the ones who have problems. They do not even have the time to think of hatreds, jealousies etc.,

And what are we doing? We have everything. We eat 4 to 5 or even 6 times a day! We have such good parents to take extra care of us. We dont even have to prepare a meal, it is almost always ready-made! We are quite well educated, thanks to our parents, so that we earn our living. We have money and we do not think, it is enough! We always want more, and it is never enough. We have so many clothes to wear and we still think that we do not have good ones! We buy something that we think is good and the next day, we feel that it is not so good! What are we searching happiness in? Why have we become so petty?

When we die, we die alone. None of the money, dresses, palaces, jeweleries, degrees, medals and lastly, not even our friends or the loved ones are going to come with us. We need to be happy with some things and get on in life, instead of complaining on petty things. Try to take a moment off to see all the nice things you have.. and you will realise how fortunate you are. We have everything we need. We only need to take time off to observe those things, instead of wasting our lives on things we DO NOT need. If not anything else, I have two eyes and can see! THAT, is for me, the most important thing in life. To be able to see, is why, I think, I am very fortunate :)

Need for critical judgement

We see something and we get carried away and then realise that the thing is not the same thing that we initially thought it to be. I have had this experience several times. I see a dress and get so carried away that I think that I HAVE to buy it. I buy it. I wear it and then find that, it was not that great after all. Then was it my imagination that the dress was good? Or may be I just didnt know that the color wouldnt suit me. We look at some food material and think that it must be tasty and take a lot of it. We then find that the food is not tasty at all and we should not have got carried away. How many times have we not experienced something similar to this?

So, how do we fix this? We should use our judgement always. We should always be completely aware of what we are doing.

We are very fond of one more habit. Taking opinions about something or someone. We always need opinions. We are scared to try it out on our own and experiment it. For eg., it happened to me when I was deciding to leave Intel and join for Ph.D at IITB. And this happened to me, when I had already got an admit, and had just about enough time to resign. The fear of the unknown. Should I need to do a Ph.D? Is leaving Intel the right decision? Is going away from home worth it? Do I need this change now? Where am I heading?
So, ideally I should have thought about all this before applying for the institute. But I thought, "let me try it. If I get an admit, I will decide later." Then when it came to the time when I had to make a decision, I started talking to people. The first person I talked to, said- "Ph.D? Why?Do you want to become an academician? Do you know what you will do with it? If not, you should not go. Leaving Intel and going? Who will leave Intel? This IS the place to be. You can always do research here if you are motivated. Why do you have to quit? You get a good pay. You stay at home. What makes you think that you should leave all this?"

I had about few days to put down my papers, to meet the required notice period. Considering the above advice, it made me think a lot of things. I tried to answer each of those questions to myself. And I couldnt convince myself. I tried to see if there is some way in which I can get the best of all worlds- that is- to stay at Intel, to do a PhD, and to be at my hometown. First step, I spoke to my manager if there is some way in which I can pursue this while staying at Intel., that is, if they can give me a leave of absence for an year to complete my coursework and then I would do the Ph.D part-time. My manager and his boss asked me - "Why should I do this favor to you? You might be extraordinary, but if I do this to you, others will also ask me. You better leave. And you are always welcome if you want to rejoin. I have done favors to your colleagues earlier. They all took the favor, ditched us and left. What is the guarantee that you will not do the same?"

I was stunned at the way in which these people spoke. I thought, "He is asking me to leave. I will not leave. I will speak to higher authorities." Meanwhile, time was running out. So, I requested for a deferral in my admission, by a semester, so that I could take a decision in the meantime.

I went upto the level of the Intel India President. There are these extended education support programs, and they never work beyond the paper on which the guidelines are written. So, I spoke to him if this can be supported. He suggested that I speak to different teams who are willing to take me in and sponsor my leave and Ph.D as well. Like an idiot, I spoke to a few team managers. They asked me what area I was going to work on. I had no idea at that time. In fact, even after 1.5 years after coming to IITB, I still have no idea!! They took my interview.. and I had no clue what they were talking. They said that it doesnt make sense for them to increase a headcount and send her on leave. So, they suggested that I quit and then come back after a year if I wish.

I spoke to atleast 10 managers and got the same response. I was fed up. It was about 4 months of discussion and thinking by now. Every day, I used to discuss at home, on what direction I need to take and what makes sense. I used to discuss in the bus on the way back home. I probably spoke to 50 people within Intel, out of which only 2 people suggested strongly that I SHOULD quit Intel and go at any cost.
I said that I am not finding strong reasons to quit Intel. They said that they can help me with that!! :-)

Out of the 50 discussions, some are worth quoting. One of them was an IITB graduate several years ago. He took an interview and asked me some basics about capacitors, transistors etc.,. I couldnt answer convincingly. Of course, if you are at Intel for about 5 years, you would have lost all confidence in yourself, that you wouldnt even know how a MOSFET works. So, he gave his verdict- "See, you dont even know the basics. What Ph.D will you do? If you leave Intel now, are you confident that you can get a job here again after you are done? No.(he had decided it for me). So, why do you leave? My guide also calls me and asks me to join for Ph.D. I am also from IITB. But I am happy here, making lots of money. I like circuit design and I have published lots of papers, which I will do if I join for Ph.D too. But with the stipend they pay, I cant look after my family and kids. So, why should I suffer there? I like teaching and for that, I dont have to quit Intel. I take evening courses on basics here at Intel. You can attend my classes and strengthen your basics. Dont leave Intel. Ultimately your Ph.D guide will also look at you like a resource, who will work for him. It is similar to industry in that sense. So, whats the fun?"

Many views were similar to this. But there was one guy who said- "Part-time may not be a good option unless you have no other way. We have financial and family committments. So, we do part-time. If you have no such committments, you should do it full-time. But again, it is my opinion. You should do what you feel like doing". This was the only person who gave me this advice.

Then, I finally met one manager in analog design team who was ready to hire me and send me on a leave. He was leaving to the US. So, he was in a hurry and left. The next day, I was supposed to mail him my decision. I came home. I slept in the evening and woke up after a while. I thought, enough is enough. I will quit. The next day, I spoke to the big boss asking him when would he relieve me. He said- "You can go tomorrow itself, if you want". I thought, I should have gone long ago. Anyway, enough was enough! That day, I made a decision and I didnt have any emotions after that or any questions if that decision was right. Even when I left home, I didnt have emotions, considering the fact that I had gone through 5 months of highly emotional thinking about which way to go.

I came here to IITB in Jan 2011. I checked out the department. The first week of classes- impressive. I could absorb the vibrations of the department! I found that it was awesome. In a couple of weeks, I knew that it is great to be here. By the end of the semester, I grew so much in confidence that I knew that I had made the right decision. I had almost 98% chances of not joining, given the different opinions of people that I had heard. But somehow, something brought me to this place, made me meet the "people" that I HAD to meet (I had no option :-)) and have the experiences that I HAD to have. That something, I call God :-) Since we do not see that unknown force, for lack of better words, we call him God. Well, I thank God. Immensely. That I am here today. If not for anything else, my sense of judgement has grown. My level of confidence has grown. I can now THINK. Yes, I can now think on my own. Even here, I have been carried away by a lot of things, but I have got my judgement back.

We need to be able to see things as they are. That is important. And that is THE MOST important lesson that I have learnt in life. We should not get carried away by anything or anybody. I repeat. We need to be able to see things as they are. When we do this, nothing can deceive us. Our perception will be clear. We can use our judgement properly and make the right decision for us to be happy. Ultimately that is what matters.

Here, I tend to think that Professors are Gods and we HAVE to follow their way, when I get carried away by some Prof's teaching. But again, that is wrong. I should not accept something just because a senior Prof says. I can always question and have my own view. Who knows? The Prof might learn something from my way of thinking. We NEED fresh ways of looking at the same old things. That is why we need young and fresh minds and encourage these youngsters to do research in Indian universities. If all the talent from the IITs goes to foreign universities, how will India move ahead? The talent was after all, from India. Why cant it make India a better nation?

Make mistakes, thats fine. Sometimes I felt that I should not have taken those extra 6 months to make a decision to leave Intel. But unless I did that, I wouldnt have learnt my lessons. It is important to learn, no matter how much time it takes. And it is important to grow. I might negate my entire time at Intel and call it useless.. but it was required, to help me negate that strong addiction that I had for Intel, that it was THE only place to be. No, there are better places :-)
Similarly, now I feel the same for IITB. But I am more careful when I make such decisions or strong feelings. The thing is that, when you are carried away, you are not aware of it at that time. That is when you need friends or people close to you to say that. It might be harsh, but you need to be made aware of the fact that you are being carried away. Whether you listen to them or not is a different question. But you need such friends who are your well-wishers and whom you trust. Then you will be more watchful and not make mistakes. Else, there is no other way. You will have to go through the tough experiences, make mistakes and learn some day. There is no other way buddy! This is the way through this world :-)

I am not saying that, you should not discuss anything with anyone. You SHOULD. Discuss by all means. But remember that those opinions were THEIR OPINIONS. It is what THEY would have done, for their own reasons, if they were in your position. That is it. It does not define what YOU should do in your current position. I am still not angry at those people who gave me such opinions. But I was such a fool to listen to them and get worried about my decision for those few months. Again, thank God that I could take the right decision or the decision that turned out to be right :-)
Discussions might give you ideas. It might help you improve many a times. Take those back home. And make your own decision. You are a different personality from them. How can you live the life someone else lived or is living? If you get a fever, you need to take a treatment for fever which suits you. A tablet that suited someone else for fever MAY NOT suit you. And all fevers need not indicate that you have the same disease!
The point is that, dont get carried away. Use your judgement. Make your decisions. Be responsible for it. At every step. Be aware of yourself.
You have your own brain. You have your own intellect. And you have your own personality and individuality! Live it up!

Selfishness or selflessness

 Ultimately, everyone is trying to be happy and they think they need some people to share themselves with.. that is human tendency anyway. And yes, sharing with people can make a huge difference in one's life. Take any relation, for example, mother-child relationship. People say that it is the most unselfish relation.. but wait, think about it. Why does a mother care for her child so much? Because she has made that child her whole world and she gets happiness out of it.. so she wants to take care of her child. But, of course, there might be some amount of selflessness. Say for instance, when a child is just born or a few weeks old, she takes a lot of care, spending sleepless nights, just so that the child gets good sleep. It is her responsibility anyway.. But I am not sure if I have to call it selfishness/selflessness/love..

 Tell your mom or dad something that they dont really agree with, will they still treat you the same loving way? Never. You will be the cause of great distress to them. They would still care for you, but you would be the one on whom they will let out all anger. But that is understandable..since poor thing that your mom is, she is helpless, who can she share herself with other than you? And tell her something she feels happy about, and now, all of a sudden, you can see all the love pouring on you. 

We talk to people, spend time with them, lots of time. Why? Because we enjoy doing it. We like their company. As simple as that. And when we find people who fit better into the kind of personality that we would like to share ourselves with, we tend to enjoy the earlier company much lesser. That's human tendency. Infact, we might find the earlier friends much sillier. Such things do happen. After all, our mind today is not the same mind tomorrow. If you enjoy something today, you need not enjoy the same thing tomorrow. Everyday, you create your own world and you enjoy your own things according to your needs. So, you really do not know if this world that you see today is a part of your imagination or if you  yourself are a part of the imagination of someone else's world!

People use this word called "selfless love". I really wonder what that means at all. If someone loves someone else, or something, it is because, again, they feel happy about it. It is again, for happiness. A dad cares so much for his daughter, out of the so-called love, because he needs her, and he has made her happiness as his happiness.. If there is nothing that can make a friend happy, and if there is nothing that you will get out of such a friend, and nothing that you should expect, would you still love such a person? If you do, then you are really selfless. There is nothing that you truly want, because you are complete in yourself already, you are at your peak of happiness already. That can happen only if you have realised the ultimate goal of life, that is true and permanent happiness, not before. If you are experiencing such selflessness before that, it only means that you are in some kind of a hallucination!

At the end of all these experiences, then comes this grand-old question. What is life? And why are we here! And the question has a quite grand-old answer too!

If we look at it from our current plane of existence, we only have to say that, our so-called nature is "imperfect" and we are here to let the karma work itself out. In the process, we go through these experiences, and the grand hope is that, we learn something out of these experiences, which hardly is the case. Anyway, we have to learn, now or later. And unless our nature evolves and becomes completely free, there is no escape from these experiencies. So, we better learn.

WE need to evolve, and all relationships have to evolve. Why? To set ourselves free, to become independent of anything and anybody. 

And only then, you will be able to truly enjoy that feeling of solitude! 

Strength.. Freedom

It is said that strength is life and weakness is death. We should have strength and at the same time, it is important to discover that the strength lies within us. We are and we should be our greatest strength, just that we dont realise it. It is quite natural for we, human beings to depend on someone or identify someone else as our strength- it could be your mother, father, sister, brother, husband, child or a friend. But it is very important to be independent, atleast to gradually get there.  

If one can find happiness in depending on something or someone for strength, how much more happiness lies in discovering the strength that lies within oneself. Just a spark of that inner strength from your own soul can ignite a whole bunch of lives and make their lives happy. The belief and confidence that, "I can achieve anything", "I can solve any problem", "I can do anything", lets you discover so much freedom. Yes, strength and freedom are related..

That is why they say, expansion is life and contraction is death.. The more strength you have, the more you express it and shower it on other's lives.. so you kind of expand yourself. Theres also a saying that- 'the moment you touch the hearts of others, is the moment you truly start living'.. And you can do so only if you expand yourself, only if you firstly have that strength in you..

That is the only way.. There should be no place for weakness. "Na ayam aatma balaheenena labhyah" (This atma cannot be realised by the weak).. There is only one goal and the goal is FREEDOM. And every atom, every being is knowingly or unknowingly marching towards that goal. The more you give up weakness.. ok, now what is weakness? Anything that drags your heart down is weakness. Anything that doesnt guarantee you permanent happiness is not strength..The more you overcome the hurdles in your own minds, the more you realise that freedom in yourself. All imaginations, weaknesses, strength- all these are states of the mind that one experiences.. When all your tendencies are converted into strength and only strength, then, the personality of the being changes and you realise that happiness lies within, in subtler things than grosser things. The more you "move" towards the inner being, the more free you get..

Getting beyond..

I should probably edit my blog name as 'the heart speaks' instead of 'the mind speaks'..

I was thinking, what really matters in life. What should really matter to me?
In this world, everything is so so so relative with respect to each other's minds. Something that is perfect to me is not perfect for you.

To consider an example:
In an educational institution where thousands of students are graduating, each one with a certain grade, and at the end of it, what does it really mean. Is it that, I got in and got out with a certain grade, got placed in some company, and then again do something there to earn some money, finally get out of there. One fine day, we get out of this world too.. And so.. what did we do at the end of it?

I feel that, someone other than 'myself' cannot quantify the quality of the effort I have put in into some work. To be precise, lets say I make a project report of 6 pages, which is really a result of hard work of about 6 months. Only I know, how much effort I have put in and if I have really put in. People could make a 6 page report in 1 day or even few hours. So, if someone external to me sees the report, he can see only the 6 pages. And again, if those 6 pages are not appealing to the person's mind, he might throw it away as rubbish. So, the point is, should I let someone else judge me or my ability or my work? My ability could be to some extent judged by someone who I consider as my 'teacher', since he knows much better than I do; and I have accepted him as my teacher to lead me to something higher. But, there is no way that someone else can really know how much effort I put in into my work. So, if they consider it as rubbish, should I even care?

And especially when it comes to grading in educational institutions, it has been my observation in the last few months that there is nothing perfect here. Each Professor has his own style of grading because each one has his own idea of the so called bloody perfection of the subject. And a 100% in that subject means what? Does it mean the person knows everything? I have seen students doing nothing, almost copying the assignments from each other and scoring almost 95%, where as a sincere student also scores the same. So, what does it mean? That, it is better to just copy and not spend time on the given job sincerely? Does sincerity have any place in this relative world at all?


So, what does this all lead me to? There could be two conclusions, which are way different:
1. Be like everyone else, just chill! Do things at the last moment, dont be sincere. It doesnt really matter in life!

2. All that matters is satisfaction to myself. Have I done my best? Have I done my job that I was supposed to do? Basically, have I been true to myself, my conscience? If my conscience says yes, then nothing else should matter to me. I shouldnt care if I am compared with someone who hasnt done his job as sincerely but ends up getting the same rewards as I do. Basically, it leads me to the conclusion that, I just do my job 'perfectly' with respect to my own conscience and if I know for myself that I have given my everything, I should learn to dettach myself from the results of it. If I can do that, I can go beyond work. At the end of the 'day', how long am I going to keep working? As long as I am in this world, I have to work, do something or the other, where inevitably I will be 'judged'. And there will be no escape from it. So, do we ever get out of it? get beyond it? where to? and how? what are we here for? to get grades? for someone to certify that I am good? Thats so funny! That shows how small a creature I am, if I am waiting for someone to certify my work and my quality and to get bogged down by these things! I should of course do good. Now, good is also relative.. good with respect to what?



So, where does relativity end? Do we ever get to the 'absolute' good? Who decides it? It gets very tough to express all this beyond this point.. Now, lets say, we look at life as a whole. We come in, do something and die and move on from there.. and repeat it. Till when? Till we get beyond the circle of life and work and death. Till we have expectations and desires, there is no way out. Till we are attached to these little things and their results, there is no escape. Get beyond it.. does it mean that I stop working? If I continue to work as if it is my duty to do so, and do my best sincerely, and get dettached from the results, then there is a possibility of an escape from the circle of work. This is what has been said in Gita and other places. I used to wonder, how can you work without expectation, what does it even mean? If I start off saying I dont want anything, I cant even work, there wouldnt be enough motivation. But I now realised that, work is inevitable, it has to be done. As long as we work, we put in some effort and we get some results. That is also inevitable. But if I continue to work because I want more out of it, working further will also be inevitable. The way out, is to realise that - God/whatever you call it- your own conscience really knows your intentions. He is the unbiased judge- the so called bestower of the results of your actions. If he is pleased, you dont have to bother about anything else. And of course, to please him, you have to be sincere. So, what do I get out of it? Satisfaction. You dont have to ask anyone to check if you are satisfied. You somehow know it for yourself. All that matters should ideally be: Have I done my best? Have I given it my everything? Have I enjoyed doing it? Did I like it? The results should be given up, meaning, you shouldnt be bothered about anything else that you get out of work except the above mentioned things. Because, there is no such thing in life as- 'you HAVE to get it'. There is no such big deal here in this mortal existence. Just imagine, all that you call as you and yours here, now, will be gone into ashes one day. It might sound dramatic, and I might sound like a pessimist; but that is a fact. So, if you are mentally prepared to have this 'mentality' (!) of giving up, here and now, then you really go beyond the small grades and reports and work and this mortal existence as a whole.


When you do this repeatedly, your mind becomes free from expectations and desires, and it really becomes "free".. You begin to realise that life is not to be bound by small, silly things such as comparing yourself with others, feeling jealous about others success, feeling bad when one doesnt get a promotion at work or when one doesnt get good marks in a certain exam or when someone doesnt praise you or if you aren't given importance etc.. These things start to look very silly. And the people who care for such silly things start to look silly. And on top of all this, the whole system that we have in this world, where everything gets judged everywhere- education, work etc., and the people who judge, the whole system looks very silly. I can stand on top of it and laugh at it. At the end of this 'life', I should have gotten over this tiny existence.. And I think, that is why we are here for. Not to get stuck here like in a whirlpool, but to find a way to get over. And as we can see, it is not so easy. That is the real challenge and that is the real and the ultimate examination. If I can get a 100% in this task, I should be done forever, with everything.. I can get an 'ideal' certificate! That is how I think, there is this only one way of getting beyond...

A heart

I see so much of a distinction between an animal (like a dog/cow etc) and a human. I saw a cow limping, walking in the middle of the road; nobody caring for it. I saw a hungry dog, that was looking for food inside a dustbin and it looked up at me expecting something. I saw some kind of helplessness in its eyes, looked as if it was making some kind of request. I looked straight into its eyes, and I felt I was connected with it, I felt sorry, helpless. I had just had my dinner, ready-made dinner, cooked by someone else, neatly served on plates, have someone else to wash my plates, and on top of it we still complain that the food is not good, it was a little less saltish, less hot etc.,. I saw another dog rolling in the sand, sleeping in the sun. Why is there so much distinction made between man and an 'animal'? Man has dominated the whole world, thinks he rules it. We study, build institutes, work, do lots and lots of things to "enjoy" at the cost of others happiness, many a times. We can go to any extent, hurting others, killing others, killing animals and eating them.. god save human beings.

Still, what should be that quality of a man that makes this really big distinction, worth it? What should he possess, that makes him worthy of being called a human being, who is rated way way above the other species. I think, it is the "heart". Care for others,  forget your egos and have a heart.. They say that, when you touch the heart of others is the moment you truly start living..Otherwise, what is 'life' after all? When can you say, you are really living?

How many times have we faced this- we dont care for those who care so dearly for us, because we take them for granted. We dont care to listen to them, they are like our secondary priority, whom we will finally resort to, when we feel alone and lost in this world.. We still, dont care to stop for a moment and feel grateful for them. We never said a thanks..Some relationships dont need a thanks, of course.. like that of a child feeling grateful towards parents. This is a really great example, of how most kids dont care for those who really care for them. I feel, this is the only true relationship amongst all the vanishing ones and I care for that relationship a lot..

Thats ok, but this is the funny part- we care a LOT for those who dont care for us.. This is one more very strange quality that I find in human beings. I heard an incident, where a girl was dumped by his boyfriend who proudly wrote that -'finally, I got rid of her'.. and the girl committed a suicide. Can it get more stupid? When a person doesnt value the relationship anymore, there's no point in the other person valuing it anymore either, so much to an extent of committing a suicide. I believe that, people who do not deserve to be given importance, should not be given importance at any cost. Basically, the root cause of all this is that, we are attached to something or somebody and our ego comes in the way of accepting this fact, which leads to agony and anguish. If we just keep things simple, there shouldnt be any worry in this world.

So, coming back to my original point, have a heart.. a simple one..care for others, tell those little thanks, little sorries, little smiles, share those little feelings, feel I say, feel.. and you are on your way to justify, why humans are really supposed to be way ahead of all other species. A dog shows gratitude, it can feel. In fact, all living beings can..(Btw, I dont mean to underestimate a dog or any other animal. Just that I see so many of them everyday, I am just using them as an example. In many cases and in many ways, dogs are much better than humans!)
If you lack a heart, then I am sorry, you are worse than any other creature on this planet, just spending one more day on earth..

Marriage!

Well, I never thought I would be writing about it one day. But today was a different experience! Something I never imagined before. I never became a huge fan of a person just by hearing at his speech, and that too listening to a few minutes, I wanted to go and tell him, 'you are awesome'! And what's more, I recorded his speech (not sure if it was legal) and I am quoting him here in my blog.

If you have been wondering what I am talking about.. here it is.. I attended a wedding in a church today, for the first time in my life. Initially, I was comparing the differences between the cultures. I saw people with pianos, people getting ready to play songs, people with guitar on the stage etc., I had imagined the bride walking down in white dress and all (like we have seen in the movies), and then I thought, I shouldnt expect too much.. just wait and watch..Then the bride really walked down in white saree with a guy, whom I thought was supposed to be her husband. But then it turned out that he was the Pastor (a clergyman or priest in charge of a congregation- Source: dictionary.com), and a good friend of the actual bridegroom.

Then began the sensational talk by the Pastor. I didnt know who he was; I just thought he was the groom's friend.. but later learnt he was 'professional' and the Pastor. I probably felt it was sensational, because I didnt expect that kind of an event to happen there and that kind of a topic being spoken on a wedding day!

Anyway, here it goes..
"If you would remember God everyday in your life, you would have a great marriage. When you are closer to God, we experience love, we experience peace so that we can give it to others..But theres something wrong with human race today, that there is one thing that sticks out- ' I'..We are all about 'me'. In marriage, most of the times, its about me, whats in it for me. Every problem is because I am selfish. But the Bible says, the love of God is not selfish. It is kind and forgiving. The love of God doesnt keep a record, it doesnt say, 'hold on, I remember what you did to me five years ago, you did this to me yesterday'.. the love of God says- 'Jesus paid for you on the cross and I dont remember anything' Because of being selfish, sin came in to the world and death came in to the world"

"Btw, friends, I dont know who you are today. You may be here tonight, but you are going to die one day. 100 years from now you are not gonna be here. What a horrible topic to talk on a wedding morning! Yeah, but that is the reality.  Every one of us are gonna die one day. We are going to grow older and older and I promise you, not one of us will be here, one hundred years from now..But you are gonna be somewhere. Your soul will be somewhere- either in heaven with God or in hell. The Bible is that clear about it. And the bad news is that we are all sinners. The Bible says that St.Paul said- all men are sinners, no man is perfect, none of us are without sin. All of us fall short of God's standard. We have all made mistakes in our lives. Not one of us is worthy, when we die, to stand before the gates of heaven and say that 'I am here, perfect, am a good man, I have never sinned'. Not one of us is able to say that. But the good news is this- the Gospel of Jesus is this-' that the God sent his son, Jesus Christ, the only one who is perfectly holy and sinless. Jesus on the cross took your sins on him. He was not dying as an accident. Jesus was dying so that you could be in heaven one day..If you accept him as your Lord, you will be saved.......
....Do you know where you will go when you die? Have you personally asked God to come in to your life? Have you asked, God, forgive my sins? If you have done that, you will be saved."

"The love that God wants through this marriage is supernatural love between you; that you may live your life, through the love of God. God has put love in man.. it goes beyond when you become old, when you have lost friends, when you have lost jobs and everything..Even when everything is gone, you can still say to each other-'I believe in you'.. Two imperfect people like all of us are, come together and plunge in love for God..This is a very sacred and holy moment. This is the time when Jesus is asking you-'Did you know you will have eternal life? If you believe in me, you will have everlasting life. Do you know where you will go when life will be over.' You might be saying-'who knows and who can know'. But the Bible says differently that those who believe in him, shall have everlasting life. Pray God to come into your lives as the holy spirit."

Many of those sentences were very touching for me.. two of them stand out:
1. "All of us fall short of God's standard."
2. "Not one of us is worthy, when we die, to stand before the gates of heaven and say that 'I am here, perfect, am a good man, I have never sinned'".. I got tears in my eyes as he was saying this..

I wanted to hear more and more.. As I heard him, I felt he was explaining the essence of marriage, as it is supposed to be. Maybe, we too have the mantras and chants etc., which convey much deeper meaning.. but nevertheless, this was a different experience.

And towards the end, I felt that their belief in God was much stronger than the belief I had. Then I thought I shouldn't have compared cultures initially.. since all religions talk about that same goal, just tuned to the different mindsets of people. 

Thank God

I woke up in the morning with my eyes blurred; because I had slept with my eyes covered with my hands. It took nearly 1 hour to be able to see normal. I began to think, how the world might look to me if my eyes were permanently blurred. I started getting scared. How the world might look, if I were blind? Do we care to thank, may be, God that we are able to see? I did, at that moment. Even if I had no reason to thank God, this is really a wonderful reason.. to be able to see. The greatest gift, I thought!

We all know we can "see", not just the vision that eyes offer, but to be able to see things as they are. That is a very difficult thing though. It takes quite a few experiences to be able to really "see". When we start to see and realise things, we start to refine ourselves according to the circumstances. The first time you "see" something differently than what you expected to see, you are taken by surprise. Because, you had a certain previous experience and a certain expectation. So, when what follows doesnt match with your expectation, you are surprised! So, you now modify your 'interpretation' algorithm and set it to the latest experience you had. And then, your expectation changes accordingly. The next time you "see" the same thing, if you are taken by surprise, you modify your algorithm again. Anyway, as you go through these, you take a hit every time, but you also go through this wonderful act of realisation. You become a more refined person, because atleast you are starting to "see" things clearly. And when you get hit more, the stronger you get. But this process gets saturated somewhere.. that happens either when you get the "real" picture of the thing (after which you no longer need to run the algorithm) or when we you have become strong enough not to get affected by anything or when you no longer expect anything.

The root cause of all evil is this expectation. Expectation everywhere, about everything and with everyone. The moment this can be controlled, I can say, we will be able to handle ourselves much better and really see things as they are, and... as... they... Always.... were. Yes, things hardly change, but our 'idea' of the thing changes. When the illusion about the idea vanishes, the thing is seen clearly, as it ALWAYS WAS.

I wanted to thank someone for having brought me out strong from all the experiences that I have had in life so far, howsoever tough they have been. 'Thank God'.. thats what naturally comes out when we feel thankful for something that has happened, which is beyond our control. So, I thank God. I thank God, for making me realise how stupid I was in the past, for making me realise how much better I could have been, for how events happened which were not under my control (there are many such, in all our lives), for guiding me every moment and making me realise every moment on what I should and shouldn't do..

I sometimes think, if I could have 'seen' better yesterday, I could have been a lot better. But its always better late than never right? I can see better today, and for that, I thank God again..

Another first experience in..

I had an earlier blog post, about five years ago, whose title also read something similar, saying- 'my first experience in...'. But that was also 'the last experience in...'.

Now, this experience that I am writing about, I am pretty sure it is not the last experience, but surely the 'first' of its kind. I was supposed to teach Analog electronics to BTechs here in IITB as a Teaching Assistant for their course. Not really "teach" the subject as such, but then make them solve some examples- something they call a 'tutorial' here. I had some apprehensions about teaching UGs in IITB, they are pretty smart guys, I thought.. After all, they cracked the JEE, didn't they? So, to prepare myself, I sat along with them during their regular class hours for Analog electronics, to know what's going on in the class, so that I can know what I should be doing during the tutorial. It was a class of limited seats- only 40 students were allowed to register- hmm...decent crowd for me to start with, I thought! These guys didnt know what a high pass and a low pass filter were. And they were pretty decent in the class, so I thought it may not be tough for me to handle them!

Now coming to the tutorial day..When I entered the class, I made sure I wasnt going to stand on the dais of a different class, so I asked them if this was the same class. And I thought that students wont show up for a tutorial class, but almost the whole class was seated, at 6.30pm sharp! Wow, impressive! And the room didnt have speakers or mike, and I wasnt audible at the back benches, so I turned off the fan, because I believed that the noise made by the fan running at full speed was preventing my voice from reaching far! One girl gave me a staring look since I switched off the fan near her.. I knew, so I asked her- is it ok? And she had to say, yes, its ok! That girl didnt open her book to write down anything.. she wasnt happy attending a tutorial for this subject which was supposed to be a 'Minor' subject- which gave her only 6 credits instead of the 8 credits that they normally get. She didnt feel it was worth spending one extra hour a week on a 6-credit course. I said, I cant help it.. its been told that the tutorial was compulsory and she had a pathetic look on her face.. I dont know why it should be compulsory.. if she is not going to listen to me, what's the point in coming there for the heck of it? If I was the Prof, I would say so..

Anyway, I started with drawing simple RC circuits and transient response. These guys were 2nd year guys who didnt know Network analysis or Laplace transforms. So, I had to teach them simple RC circuit analysis. I also taught them what's inside an operational amplifier- thats a differential amplifier. Apparently, that wasn't what I was asked by the Prof to do. She was supposed to teach the concepts and I was supposed to show some applications and examples. But since they weren't aware of some concepts, I spoke about it, and I liked it..
After all, what's the big deal in solving examples? All text books have them, and these simple substitution of values into formula- am sure these IIT UGs are smart to figure them out themselves..
I realised I didnt like to just show examples.. I wanted to take command on the subject, on really 'teaching'..  I wanted to teach concepts.. good, isn't it? And did decently well in handling questions too!
And the best part was, as I expected from EE students (:-))- the students behaved really decent, of course we have some mutual respect, dont we?

There were some guys talking to each other and laughing occassionally, but I didnt want to interrupt the class and treat them like primary school children, saying the same old dialogue of - "Please share the joke with the class.." etc.. It would have been funny if I did that. I wanted to be really professional, like my guide here. I love being professional where it is required.
It was good.. people were writing down notes also and nodding their heads- atleast the first benchers! There were some who didnt open any book also.. but they were the back benchers as one would expect. I was glad I was teaching something that made sense to some atleast.

The funny part was when I took the attendance (which I was asked to take!), it was a real 'first' experience. The last time I probably took attendence was when I used to play this 'teacher' game at home when I was in 1st standard, wearing a saree and broken glasses, holding a stick as if scaring students (there were none really!) and writing stuff on blackboard at home.
Now, I was really taking attendance..Apparently, in a couple of cases, I read out the student's middle name, and they said-'That's my father's name, not my name!' That was funny!

I managed to talk for 50 minutes! And I wasnt nervous.. good! And my hands were full of chalk powder :-)

I had done some volunteering work in the past, and the class I had taught was 8th and 10th standards. That was all unofficial teaching though..
But now this teaching was 'official' and it will go on. Hehe, I am officially a 'teacher'.. sounds weird! I should wear some glasses from next time, it will give me that teacher 'look', yeah that 'look'!

Overall it was good. My next turn is after 3 weeks. And I hope to do better!
(I like to decorate my blog with images.. :-) Otherwise, I think it looks boring. I myself cant read my blogs without pictures, these days!)

"The idea of you"

Lets do some basic definitions first. Lets define the mind, keep it simple.. it is something which has acquired certain qualities based on prior experiences and you 'see' the world through it. On a very plain note, it is mostly like a look-up table, where in, if it sees something it has previously seen, it looks it up, matches with the already existing data and returns a 'match found' signal if it finds a match, else a returns a 'no match found'- pigeonholing- as they call it technically. i.e., say it (mind) sees a dog. It has learnt from childhood days how a dog looks like and as soon as it sees it, the mind finds a match with its look-up table and identifies it. Knowledge flashes on it and you call this 'perception' or 'recognition'.

Say, you come across a strange animal which you havent seen before.
The mind still does the search, cannot recognise it, so it is confused. It has no prior information and what it will most probably do is to try to find out what the thing was.. may be the first act is to ask someone and then try to google it out, to confirm (because these days we rely more on internet than what people say. Unless google or wiki says something, I dont trust it kind of a thing!). It then adds this new entry to its look-up table, so that the next time you see the same thing, it is no longer new, and you immediately recognize it, without any delay. So, we have in some crude sense, defined 'recognition' or 'perception' and lets call our first look-up table as a "table of objects".

Now, we come to the more complex 'interpretation'. I am mostly referring to interpretations you do when you deal with sentient (conscious) beings than with insentient things (like objects), so to put it in plain words, when you deal with living beings. You come into this world with your mind. The way you 'interpret' a thing might be completely different from the way I interpret it, which could inturn be totally different from what it actually is. So, when you are reading people's faces, unless you have the art to read their mind, I feel, it is very hard to interpret them right. The reason is this: when you are recognising an object, it is very easy to do it. It is just a look-up table like I said, and if you see a lion, you map it to a lion and you see a monkey, you map it to a monkey, because some ancestor of us has defined that an animal which looks like 'xyz' should be called a monkey. So, everyone started calling it monkey and it became an universally accepted name. You learnt it in your school and you defined an element in your look-up table as monkey and map it to it. The logic circuit for recognising such things, is very simple.

But when it comes to 'recognising' other's minds, which means, you are trying to interpret an act or a behavior or in short, call it "interpreting people", there need to be so many combinations in your table. First of all, there are so many tendencies in people, so very different kinds of nature. Each mind has its own conditioning and ways of looking at things. There are so many emotions/feelings- happiness, sadness,anger, hatred, love, friendship, shyness,guilt,deception,trust,disbelief, humor and so on. There's a saying that the face is the index of your mind. I think you can make out some basic things from people's faces. Like, for example, if somebody is happy, you can make out from their face and you map it in your mind to one of these feelings and recognise that the expression on their face maps to happiness and hence you know that they are happy. So, here we form our second look-up table- a "table of emotions". Similarly, when some incident has happened to someone, which makes him angry, you can make out almost with complete certainty from his face that the person is angry, especially because you know some history behind what has caused him anger. But you can never be totally sure what is the extent of anger, or how much the anger has taken over him, unless he goes wild like a mad person or shouts or something. He might show anger on you but could still have complete control on himself and might not be affected by it. This thing which happens in his mind, you can never know for sure.

Some people are good in pretending. Like for example, if my friend has achieved something great, I am ideally supposed to feel very happy for her. But because I am not perfect and am a human, I might actually feel some jealousy for her. On the outset, I might wish and congratulate her happily, but how happy am I really for her, nobody knows. If lets say a person dies, and his son is crying and all. You never know if the person is really feeling sad, or just pretending because he IS supposed to cry. He might have always wanted his dad's property and might have been waiting for him to die! You never know. So, it is a tough thing firstly to form an idea of a person and also interpret him/her perfectly.

Also, it is hard to judge people by just meeting them or hearing to them for a few minutes. You might get sufficient idea about them, a rough sketch- like the person is
A- smart/dumb,
B- ok to approach/not,
C- friendly/not,
D- shy/open,
E- talkative/silent/reserved,
F- jovial/serious,
such kinds of things. So, thats your first impression and you start making an idea or a picture of the person as a combination of one or more things. So, that means, your mind is trying to create a new entry in its new (third so far) "look-up table of impressions" with a logic circuit of these or more items. Say for example- you have met an open/smart/friendly person- so our logic circuit is D2-A1-C1. Now the next time you meet the person, you mind maps him/her to this logic and the more you talk, you add your impressions to this logic. You start building more impressions as you get to know the person better. Now, this is where your logic might get complicated or even broken. As you get to know better, you start to 'interpret' the person. And you interpret based on the impressions you have already formed in your mind, which is completely dependent on the way your mind has been trained to interpret. When you get to be friends, you get more connected and build a more complicated logic circuit in interpreting one's actions, get  involved in emotions or whatever. You started with a simple logic expression of first impression (which can be said as almost always right- atleat wrt to the items I have described above), and now you end up being emotionally connected.

This calls for a lot of things. Firstly, you would be interpreted for every act of yours, and you would be expected to behave in a certain way so that the other person would not interpret you in a wrong manner. Till now, we have been talking about the involvement of just 2 people. Now, you are not living in a world that's closed. You meet a lot of people everyday who have a lot of tendencies of their own. If you have to reason out everytime on how to act or respond to a certain person in a certain scenario, and if you have to do this with all the people, life gets too complicated. I can, at best act true to my conscience. The moment I know I am doing or behaving in a wrong way, my conscience warns me, and I dont perform the act. Or to be honest, most of the times, I perform the act and then get warned that I did something wrong! But I cannot keep reasoning out before every act of mine, keeping in mind how the other person or even the world would interpret me, because it is simply impossible for me to even think how others might interpret me. It would get into some deadlock kind of a situation- me trying to interpret the other is simply impossible and me waiting to act based on that interpretation would put me in a never-ending 'wait' statement'. So, to evaluate the 'wait' statement, I need to use a condition, which might again be different each time I evaluate it. So, this whole sequential logic of behaviors and interpretations and dealing with people, breaks down at some point. At this point, I give up, I just dont interpret. I just act, and leave it at that.

Thus, each one has his own image of the world, or the 'idea of the world' and thats essentially the 'pattern' of the world set in his mind or as 'seen' through his mind. We are all living in our own universes- parallel universes as I often call it. I am in your universe and I have so many more people in my universe who inturn have their own, so I call them nested parallel universes. And what are these universes formed of? They are formed of ideas. "It is not about you, it is the idea of you" a friend told me, and the moment I heard it, I was excited about this statement. "It is not about you, it is the idea of you!" I get excited to write a whole book on this sentence, if I probably read this sentence 10 times a day, I can get inspired enough! I like it!

So, the ideas form this universe of mine and I live in it. I get attached to these ideas, find it difficult to imagine myself in any other world of ideas. But when I find a new world of ideas or rather create a new world of ideas, the old one would drop off on its own or gets transformed into the new one, thus the new one takes over. We thus move from one creation to another.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pigeonholing

Reflecting..

Since its been quite sometime since I wrote, I am thinking of giving a whole new look to my blog, firstly the title is changed :-) making it a bit more sensible. Then I am thinking of refining the way I write stuff, so that it makes sense to me when I read it a few months down the lane.
Just reflecting on one of the old questions- 'What is it that makes apparently possible something thats inherently impossible?" And the answer was - 'Maya' as told in one of the books. Now I dont know what that means, but atleast what I feel is that, we are all limited by our own minds. The world we see is the world existing in our minds and there is no doubt that each one lives in his own world. Instead of abstract thoughts, I am thinking of writing down my own experiences in this blog, for a change. I am just writing my thoughts down as they come..

When I was doing my 12th standard, I had no idea whatsoever on what to do next. I never thought about it, in fact, I didnt know it was high time to think about it. One fine day I realised that the exams are coming and it is really important to do well since it will decide almost my life! And I was very poor in Physics, I could never understand this subject. But since I realised it was important to do well, I had no option but to study and put in more effort to study this subject. I painfully put in so much effort that in a few days it became my favorite subject! As I read the last chapters- it was on 'Semiconductor Physics'. I read this chapter only once and understood it so well that I fell in love with it.. At that very moment, I realised that the subject was called- Electronics, and I came to know that there is a field called 'Electronics engineering'. I ran to look at the different colleges that offered this subject and called up the entrance exam cell to find out what were the kinds of ranks I was supposed to get in order to secure a seat for B.E Electronics in Bangalore.. And and I decided that I am going to study electronics engineering. One day I saw students walk by my house with PESIT written on their shirts (that was the name of the engineering college near my house) and I went to the college to check it out... I got passionate about it (dont know for what reason) and I decided I had to get in there!! So, all the activities in my life were decided by such kinds of instantaneous actions and decisions..

And today when I look back, I am surprised that I was so ignorant in the 12th std that I had no idea what engineering was. I dont know if I was living in a different world altogether. At different instances of my life, I think I have been in different kinds of worlds :-) But reading that one chapter decided the whole course of my life.. my mind was completely tuned to that pattern called 'electronics' that I never for a moment thought about a profession without it. Such a small incident making such a huge impact.. really amazing!! And when I think of it, the world of electronics is so huge and the world other than electronics is infinitely more huge.. and what do we know in this world, what can we ever know amongst what there is.. forget about knowing that which is beyond, you cant even know and learn completely- a part of what you are passionate about..At every point, I got inspired by something and that inspiration just took me away along with it, everywhere- whether it is education or work or whatever. In my engineering, I suddenly got passionate of working for Infosys that I thought I would work only there.. and when I got hired by Infy during the final year, I thought my life's goal was fulfilled!! (how foolish).. and then a few weeks later I realised I was being stupid, why the hell did I have to study electronics to get hired by Infy? My passion died there. One thought for the passion to kick in, and just one thought to let it die..

When I was doing my B.E project, I got inspired looking at the 'Intel' logo :-), yes seriously..I asked my friend if Intel has an office in Bangalore (I was in final year engineering and I didnt even know Intel existed in Bangalore, again being ignorant).. and I got mad about it.. that I had to get in there somehow. Again, I felt my life's goal was fulfilled (again foolish!!) and also one fine day left it somehow realising I was being stupid :-) One thought for the passion to kick in, but of course for me, it took sometime to get out of it in this case!

At every point of time, there was a new world that got created by those passions and I lived in those worlds created by myself; those passions got so much hyped up by myself that there was really nothing in them to hype them up so much. I guess we all go through these kinds of situations.
Once we are in any experience, we again get into a different world, only to realise later (perhaps), that it was just one of those experiences we created for ourself and there was probably nothing originally or inherently so fascinating about it..If at all there was any fascination, it was a product of our own imagination.. ( I have edited some contents of this para after I was being misinterpreted for no obvious reasons!)

This is probably a long explanation of what I began with- 'that which makes apparently possible, something thats inherently impossible' ; god knows how many experiences we have gone through and how many there are waiting ..
'kaalah kreedathi gachhathi aayuh' (I dont know what are the english words that come close in meaning to this, but I will try- "Time plays with us, carrying away with it, our life span..") 

Various patterns

When we observe people around, we find that we can categorise them based on some common features- esp their behavior which depends completely on their nature. So, basically we categorise the different natures. And I think, that's how the different states, countries or the worlds that we see around us have been formed. For e.g., If you observe the thought process and nature of the Americans, you find a commonality in most of them- that is, when you say you are an American, we get an idea of what sort of a person you 'could' be- like- independent-living, fun-loving type. When you say you are an Asian, people generally are subtle and obliging type. These are just examples, but in general, depending on the kind of nature you have, you create that kind of an environment around you. When you say you belong to Karnataka, Tamil Nadu, North India etc., we again find a similar trend- "similar patterns of nature". We immediately form an idea in our mind about what sort of a person you could be.

Also, an interesting thing is that- people who believe in astrology assume that planets and their positions have an influence on their lives and many can even predict future direction. I think your nature has a direct connection to the time in which you were born and the associated planetary positions during that time or atleast, we can try to link it up. Given that you are born with a certain nature and some inherent tendencies, your life or the likely path you might tread in your life are mostly dictated by those tendencies or patterns. People can generally get to know what kind of a person and what kind of a life you will 'tend' to lead if they know your tendencies. But people cannot read your patterns unless they know how to read your mind. So, instead they can read planets!

Now, the planets also follow some trend- they probably go through some changes in positions based on which the different astrological signs are created. If there was a way to link up the tendencies (which in turn lead to some events in life) and the planetary movements, man can predict consequences in life through planets and I think that's how astrology should have been born, although I dont know if people ever look at it from that point of view. So, when he knows your bith star or horoscope, he can predict what's the likely path you can tread. Now that's a great thing, but he attributes all this to the poor planets- and says that planetary positions cause such and such a thing in life. That's when I would disagree. If your nature is under your total control, who cares for the planets. If you are capable of changing your nature to adapt yourself to happenings in your life, why care for planetary positions? So, basically I am trying to say that- astrology can also be seen as linked to your "patterns" and depending on the different patterns, you find people getting categorised in astrology under different astrological signs.

Again, here, you will find commonality between people under the same sign. And people say- If you are born in December- you are likely to be acting in a particular way, if you are born in July- in a different manner etc., So, we categorise people with certain nature into certain signs. This again goes back to our first example of how we categorised people in different countries based on their nature.

The same can be observed with respect to animals- the ones having majestic and dominating nature being born as tigers/lions, the ones with a tender nature as a sheep or a deer etc., So everywhere there is this categorisation- some boundaries within which you have defined your nature.

I would just reword the common statements that people make. Instead of saying- you are the way you are, because you are an Indian or a Cancerian born in a certain village, I would say- Because you are the way you are, you chose to be an Indian and a Cancerian in the village you are!
It is the same case with different professions. When we find a professional, we say that he has certain qualities because he is an MBA or a lawyer or a theatre artist etc., but I would say that because his nature already had those tendencies for those qualities, he could become an MBA or a lawyer or an artist.
It is really amazing the way the countries and states and castes and in general - the world has got demarcated based solely on "nature", on their "patterns".

A chess talk

The venue was awesome- one of those halls in the Chinnaswamy stadium. And it was meant to be a chess event! It was the inaugural NIIT corporate chess championship held under the guidance of United Karnataka Chess Association. Nearly 180 participants from about 30 organizations participated in a 4-day event from 17th to 20th December and we understand from UKCA that this is a 'Record by many lengths' in the history of corporate chess in Karnataka. The big deal was that the top 20 players from the individual events would get to play Viswanathan Anand in simultaneous chess!
We participated in team and individual events and one of our team guys getting to the top 20 was the spotlight. And it was an amazing experience to watch Anand.

He wouldnt think about his moves (and if he thought, he cant be the Grandmaster that he is), and if he paused near a board for a couple of seconds, that meant the opponent made a good move and that was really when we could hope to take a picture of his. Otherwise, he would just move so fast that we couldnt get a proper snap.

Depending on the opponent's move, he would either give him a cold stare or a mild smile! He played for 1 hr and 15minutes and the game stopped irrespective of the positions. And then he walked to each board, rearranged the positions to that of the middle game and analyzed the game, explaining how the position could have been improved. He told a few opponents- 'I dont see how I have an advantage. We are equal on positions'! It was amazing that he remembered the positions of all those 20 boards and could re-arrange the board himself to explain the opponent.

And now came the best part of the event- his talk. I am quoting some of his words here, which I was impressed with:

"You can relate chess to life or business. It is not about how to get to a good square, but it is about winning a game. You need to learn how to be dettached from the results. The best players are those who have learnt to forget their defeats and get along. Some are even able to do that in a game after they have made bad moves. At any point, you should think what is the best move givene current position, instead of reflecting on the bad moves you have made.

And you shouldn't think about the outcome of the game when you are playing. If you are more keen on the result, misery is sure to follow. And if you let the defeats play on your mind, chess is sure to fall off the cliff.

Some people asked me if I remember every move I made on all boards. Honestly, I don't. But I remember the positions. If you have seen 1000 boards, the positions are bound to repeat. And as soon as you see the same pattern, you would recognise and know what's the good move to make. When you come across a pattern that you haven't seen, sometimes you make a move out of intuition. At the point of making the move, you wouldn't know why you made it, but when you go home and analyze, you will realize that it was the best move. This kind of intuition comes naturally to you after years and years of repeated hard work and practice. And all the practice you do is really to get this intuition!!"

At this point, I felt he was talking the highest philosophy!

An amazing person, he gave autographs and posed for snaps with all the people who requested for it, he played the simulatenous game and analysis for 2 hours and still gave a 30-minute talk and participated in a close-to 1.5 hour prize distribution ceremony, and told the players that they were all playing almost equal to him!

Something different this time..

Just realising that reading newspaper is not a waste of time after all..

This was an article in the 'Deccan herald'- 'Open Sesame'- Oct 9 '09 - written by a Class-5 student. It is a biography of a 'five rupee coin' :-) Sounds funny, but this is the first time I have read something so creative.
..and it reads thus:

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Hello! I am a five rupee coin. I have had many interesting adventures so far and would like to tell you about some of them.

Here goes! I was first owned by a little girl named Nandita (hehe, yeah- this was the name used by the student, I was like- 'wow, ok..') who was very forgetful (and now-I was like- 'oops!'). One day she put me in her pocket and went to the backyard to skip. She forgot all about me and did not even realize when I fell out of her pocket. When she finally realized, a wild goose chase started. She hunted for me all round the backyard. “Will she ever realize I’m on the window sill?” I wondered. After what seemed like ages, she found me.

Nandita had a friend named Aarya. Both their families were close friends. Aarya’s father was an umpire. One day he asked Nandita if she had a five rupee coin in return for two 2’s and one 1 rupee coin.
So I was given off to the umpire, who took me to the next cricket match he attended. I was used there for the toss. I actually got to be flipped by Dhoni and watched by the other greatplayers! After the match was over the umpire was walking home with me in his pocket. On the way he stopped at a small roadside shop.
I was given to the shopkeeper for a cup of tea.

Now I was really tired of being given from one person to another.
Thankfully, kind Mr. Shopkeeper kept me in his table drawer for a few days. Then I was given to a girl called Shruti as change. She put me in her pocket and took me home. So here I am now, sitting in her piggy bank with loads of other coins and rupee notes.
I have made a lot of new friends here. I’ve heard that Shruti’s saving up to buy a present for her cousin, Aditi. I know that one day I will be used to buy something that will make Aditi very happy, and that I’m going to have many more adventures that I’ll tell you all about.
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The name of the student who wrote this was Aditi and the name of the article was: 'Dhoni and the five rupee coin!'
Imagination knows no limits.. Wonder how she got the idea to write about a coin and how much time she put in to imagine all this.. I would say- 'Well written, kids of this generation really have a lot of talent in them!'

Another awesome number..

A must listen.. Here's another awesome song by Annamayya. Extremely melodious..

This link has lyrics of almost all Annamayya keerthanas in pdf format- in 5 languages. A great collection worth having..

In this kIrtana, "chUdaramma satulArA", Annamayya narrates to the ladies...(Oh! SathulArA !) about the great qualities of Goddess AnDAL (Padmavathi) , the consort of Lord SrInivAsa. In every stanza, Annamayya uses the word "chUDi kuDutha nAnchAri", which melodiously fits in to the song... (This word is actually a Tamil word and familiar to Sri Vaishnava sampradAya , which refers to "AnDAL")

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"chUdaramma satulArA" lyrics

pa :
chUDaramma satulArA sObAna pADaramma
kUDunnadi pati cUDi kuDuta nAMcAri

Oh ladies ! See HER (AnDAL) and sing for HER well being. SHE (AnDAL) is now with HER consort (Lord vEnkaTEswara).

ca 1 :
SrImahAlakShmiyaTa siMgArAlakE marudu
kAmuni talliyaTa cakkadanAlakE marudu
sOmuni tObuTTuvaTa soMpukaLalakEmarudu
kOmalAMgi I cUDi kuDuta nAMcAri

SHE is "SrI MahA lakshmi"(Goddess of wealth) HERSELF, where is the paucity of wealth to HER. SHE is the mother of "kAmuDu"(god of romance), then where is the paucity for HER Beauty(chakkadanamu). SHE is the sister of "Moon" (god of 16 beautiful arts), then where is the paucity of HER beautiful artistry (sompu kaLalu). Thus chUDIkuDutha nAnchAri is so beautiful with all the above qualities.

ca 2 :
kalaSAbdhi kUturaTa gaMBIralakE marudu
talapalOka mAtayaTa daya mari Emarudu
jalajanivAsiniyaTa calladanamEmarudu
koladimIra I cUDi kuDuta nAMcAri

SHE is the daughter of "kalasAbdhi" (god of milky ocean with humble nature) , then where is the paucity of HER humility (GambhIramu). SHE is the mother of the whole universe, so where is the paucity of HER mercy(towards all the creatures). SHE resides on the Lotus (Jalaja nivAsini) , then where is the paucity of HER cool nature (to take care of HIS devotees). ChUDikuDutha nAnchAri is thus incomparable (matchless) in the above said qualities.

ca 3 :
amaravaMditayaTa aTTI mahima Emarudu
amRutamu cuTTamaTa AnaMdAlakEmarudu
tamitO SrIvEMkaTESu dAne vacci peMDlADe
kaumera vayassu I cUDi kuDuta nAMcAri

SHE is praised by all the gods (amaravandita), then where is the paucity of HER power. SHE is the relative of "Amrutamu" (the symbol of bliss, immortality), then where is the paucity for HER bliss. Knowing that SHE has all these great qualities in HER, lord SrI vEnkaTEswara directly came in love of HER and married HER (As SrI RanganAtha of Sri Rangam). Such a young beautiful goddess is chUDi kuDutha nAnchAri.

Annamayya song- the language so close to the heart

This is an awesome song by Annamayya where he describes symbolically the cycle of creation as the divine sport of the Almighty. He visualises the swing as the cosmos with Dharma as base.

The lyrics themselves are full of content, but it seems that the song has derived its beauty from the richness inherent in the language of Telugu, so beautiful that the language comes extremely close to the heart. The language adds melody to the great song composed by this great person. I consider it my great privilege to have been acquainted with this great language.. It seems to me that language is extremely important to convey an idea and I almost consider this language equal to Sanskrit.

The song is available here and the lyrics+meanings follow:
alara chanchala maina - madhyamAvati -Adi
P
alara chanchalamaina AtmalandunDanee yalavATu chEsE nee uyyAlapalumAru nuchvAsa pavanamandunDanee bhavambu delipe nee vuyyAla
Oh Lord,You shine in all souls and also in the air we breathe.The transcient nature of creation is your divine leela and splendor. It is the divine swing.

C 1
udayAsta Sailambu lonara kambambu lainauDumanDalamu mOche nuyyAlaadana AkASa padamu addou dulambainaakhilambu ninDe nee uyyAla
The dawn and dusk are mountain-like pillars and the sky itself is beam across, bearing the swing-like cosmos.

C 2
padilamuga vEdamulu bangAru chErulai paTTi verapai tOche uyyAlavadala kiTu dharma dEvata peeThamaimigula varNimpa narudAye vuyyAla
The Vedas are golden chains holding the swing safely.The seat of the cradle is Dharma.It is indeed an amazing swing.

C 3Melu kaTlai meeku mEgha manDala mellamerugunaku merugAye vuyyAlaneela Sailamu vanTi nee mEni kAntikinijamaina toDavAye vuyyAla
C 4 pAlinDlu kadalaga payyedalu rApADabhAminulu vaDi nuchu vuyyalavoli brahmAnDamulu vorigenO yanibheeti noyya noyya nairi voochi ruyyAla
C 5kamalakunu bhupatikini kadalu kadalukumimmu kougalimpa jEse nuyyAlaamarAnganalaku nee hAsa bbhAva vilAsa mandandu chupe nee vuyyAla
C 6 kamalAsanAdulaku kannula panDugaigaNutimpa narudAye vuyyAlakamaniya murti venkaTa Saila patineeku kaDu vEDukai vunDe vuyyAla

The panaromic clouds enhance your brilliance, shining like a blue mountain.The clouds are your your ornament.Beautiful women feared that the cosmos would tilt but they continue to push the swing swiftly.The scary movement of the swing made you embrace your consort. The celestial women found your delight and happiness in the swing.It is a rare feast to Brahma and other celestials to worship you. The magnificient Lord of Venkatadri is extremely delighted with the swing.